Welcome...

I shop all too often considering I despise mail from Mastercard. I sip from fine china that is far older than the Queen. I daydream of a closet filled with Chanel. AND... If that all wasn't enough for the mind, I am a brand new mother of a baby girl, who at 4 months preferred gazing at my Wedding Ring than her plush toys.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Who let this guy whip it out...again?


You know what we don't need in society.... another child from K-Fed!!

TWO Children with Shar Jackson, TWO Children from Britney Spears and now ONE on the way from present Girlfriend, Victoria Prince. Really I think the world needs to take stance. NO MORE KIDS BY K-FED.... My question is with no job Mr. Federline, how do you manage to keep these mouths fed? I mean don't get me wrong, he has chosen women who have money, but don't they ever go over to Dad's house for Hot Dogs and Kraft Dinner... How does he afford this?




Funny Baby Photo's

I just can't help myself, these baby photos are beyond cute and I had to share. I thoroughly enjoy making captions for pictures. To me its pure comedy and keeps me in stitches, and to others...well... I'll let you be the judge.

If you have come across any photos you think I should be posting, pop me over and e-mail Ill be sure to collect them and get them on my next post of Funny Baby Photos. I think this is a good enough topic to be ongoing. No? 



Kitty Screams in 3....2.....1 


 "bring me a beer babe"

 "Oh my God Becky.... did you see what that girl was wearing.... So 2010!"

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Bringing Baby Home... or not?!



I sure as heck hope these were made as a joke, and I better not be getting a booklet of these "bad boys" from the hospital upon leaving with baby. Oh Goodness these are just wrong!


My only words of advise, if you require these as flash card because your contemplating if motherhood is for you, I suggest birth control and condoms and just to be safe a chastity belt! You may not have sex ever, in case of impregnation and the liability that you will be to the poor little one! I'm just sayin' - take up a new pass time....maybe I suggest knitting?











These Flash Cards do not get a Mommy Award however they do get an Award for making me laugh-my-ass and if anything a fun Gag-Gift to print and give to a mama-to-be!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

How to name your Baby? Or not!

I just came across this Blog called the "The Laughing Stork" and seriously kids or no kids, it will have you it stitches. Brilliant writer, Hilarious take on Mother-hood and better yet keeping my days at work a little less stressful!


Today's post was all about "how to name your baby"... Oh my goodness!!! Beyond Funny...




Have you chosen your Baby's name yet...and if so, did you use a chart similar to this to determine its lifelong calling?


The Laughing Stork gets a "Mommy Award" for there brilliance in making me laugh the day away and forget about the part in pregnancy that has to deal with a baby coming out of your Who-Ha!

Sea-Band Review


The first 3 months of my pregnancy were far from magical. I hate to say it, I really honestly do - but many time I thought to myself, really am I going to make it if my life is made up of crying, anger, sleeping and running to the bathroom for the next 9 months. My poor husband got the brunt of it all from my mood swings to my random crying to my "no food for me - you can't make me" fits I threw. 

I cried on many occasions that mothers would tell me they had this through the whole nine months and then giggled when my Doctor told me it usually only lasts until 14 to 16 weeks. 

I needed something to ease the feeling - anything really. I was willing to try - ALMOST - anything. However if it had to do with my husband researching liquid concoctions to stew up and feed to me, I wasn't having it. I will pass on your Ginger Stew that I can't even stand the smell of - I'll suffer thanks. After ranting to a girlfriend {and mother of 3} or mine she mentioned Sea-Bands helped her out a lot. Used for Motion Sickness, mostly used on cruise ships by non-sea-lovers. 

Off to the Grocery Store we went, sailor cap and all, to buy me some Sea-Bands.

Purchasing these overly tight sweater bracelets were worth every $15 it cost us. Finding them in the Pharmacy area, they were located on a little round wire stand containing things you may need if going away on a floating vacation. I didn't care where I found these "bad-boys", they were coming home with me.

Got in the Car and on they went. Reading the instructions aloud my husband kept insuring me they might take a while to "kick-in", so don't expect to feel better instantly. "Ha" like he had any idea what these Sweater Bracelets even did, he was just so afraid of my timed freak out after seconds of them cutting off my circulation, with a possible no relief. 

{placement of the Sea-Band is quite easy to determine, follow the picture above}

Within about 20 minutes I felt relief. Don't get me wrong I didn't feel like eating at the China Buffet anytime that day, but it defiantly gave me what I needed to go home, put a smile on my face and enjoy the Dinner that my husband was about to make me and baby. What a fabulous feeling it was to not have to rush to a bathroom every 35 minutes. My ass and the couch got a lot more acquainted for the next few weeks while I recovered from the past 12 weeks of goodness.

At 14 weeks I attempted to remove the bands to see if I could go without my training wheels and wouldn't you know it, I was one of the lucky ones, like my doctor promised. No more Nausea for me.... Only when my husband tried to feed my Ginger Tea to soothe my stomach. "Hey, not everyones belly's is soothed with the Root! So LAY-OFF on the G-Tea BUDDY!"....


Now they are no "fashion statement" but they get the job done. Sorta like Crocs, wear them and you will get caught in the next Perez Hilton Rant however when you are looking for a quick slip on to get the trash out on Garbage Day - they work!

Sea-Band gets a "Mommy Award" for there excellence in making me feel less Nauseous and more like ordering in Chinese Food with a Bag of Sour Keys for Dessert!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Baby Pool: How to get the men "really" involved



Yes, you heard me right. I said Baby Pool and not Hockey Pool. But yet, so very similar!


I don't know if this is a Canadian thing or not, but Hockey Pools are played in every household here in British Columbia that has any ounce male testosterone under its roof. Some play for fun, but most add a little side bet to make it worth staying on the Band Wagon the entire year. My Husband plays every year with a group of 15 guys and by the end of the Hockey Season someone wins about $150. Which I find the timing impeccable since this is usually the time that one would require 5 cases of beer to wash there sorrows away on another Stanley Cup loss.


This had lead me to researching an online "pool" not for Hockey, but for Babies. Exactly same concept, but without the body-checks and missing teeth. I have lots of men in my family who eat, breathe and sleep hockey - so I thought this might be a fun venture to include everyone in from near and far - as my family does spread themselves all over the province.


Here is what the site will look like upon arriving {www.bebepool.com}:




You can choose what your friends and family will be guessing {IE: Date of Birth, Time of Birth, Weight, Length, Hair Color, Eye Color, First Name and Middle Name} either choosing each one or token items. 


The next step will allow you to somewhat personalize your Baby Pool Site, with your pictures, Site Name, Slogan {he shoots, he scores} and Page View that your guests will see. 


Once this has all been created, you may send a massive e-mail out directly from the site to all participants in the Baby Pool. Creating a small letter inviting them to your Baby Pool Site and possibly adding a little bet or prize for the member who gets the most points by the time baby arrives. 


My husband and I decided to have a small prize at the end of the Pool, rather than just a patt-on-the-back to the lucky guesser. There is a great deal of competitive people in my family, male and female - so it only felt fair. 


Go ahead...make your own Baby Pool and get the "men" really involved - BebePool!



Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Bio-Oil Review



Upon finding out I was pregnant, this was the very first thing I purchased to start me on my Pregnancy Journey. Next to, of course the massive bag of Sour Keys. I knew that Stretch Marks ran in my family {as my sister and mother both had them in theres} and knew that even if it was hereditary {as I had mentioned is a belief, in my past post}I was going to at least try and prevent them from taking over my body. I did want to attempt my teeny weeny yellow bikini after baby made its way into our world. 


WHERE TO PURCHASE BIO-OIL?
I purchased the Bio-Oil from a local Shoppers Drug Mart for about $25. however I am aware it is available in pretty much every "box" store that sells bathroom products. Click the links below based on your Country to find where it is available instore and online:


Canada - Prices range from $12.99 to $21.99
United States of American - Prices range from $11.99 to $19.99
Europe - Prices range from €11.95
Africa - Prices unavailable
Malaysia - Prices range from RM 32.95 to RM 54.95
Japan - Prices range from ¥1600 to ¥2800
Australia - Prices range from $14.95 to $34.95
New Zealand - Prices range from $19.95 to $44.95


Online Sales
Amazon - Prices start at $8.00




I can't fully say if the Bio-Oil wins a Mommy Award just yet, only because I'm merely 4 months into my trial/review. However here is what I can say...


1. The Bio-Oil smell brilliant and brings me to a little oasis of my own when lathering up
2. It's keeping my skin extremely soft 
3. It's stopping any itchy feelings pregnant women say they get on there tummy


Up to date, I have seen only 3 stretch marks, which are all located on my tummy. Nothing on my Thighs, Bum or Bust. I personally think it has helped with some prevention seeings as some pictures I've seen women were painted with them, I am considering myself extremely lucky at this point. 


This is my first child - so I cannot compare to a past pregnancy - but I will say I give the Bio-Oil a "thumbs-ups" thus far and I will continue this review as I get closer to the BIG DAY. For more review from expecting women check out the Bio-Oil Site. Stay tuned for an updated review and find out if the Bio-Oil gets a Mommy Award at the end of my pregnancy.


- Tairalyn

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Stretch Marks: Can they be prevented?

{Photo Source: How To Ville}


As if the weight gain, nausea, emotions, energy loss and body aches weren't already enough. Stretch Marks are always the "talk of the town" between mothers and mothers-to-be. Everyone seems to always have there way to prevent them, foods to eat, lotions to rub, oils to lather and chants to sing. Any which way you look at it, what I have learnt over time, is its the luck of the draw.

Any article that I have read never gives you a definite answer on what you can do, eat or sing  - they always seem to be throwing around words like "in most cases" or "typically" or "if your one of the lucky ones". Which ever the case maybe, here is the skinny, or should I say chunky on Stretch Marks and what I have come to understand.

* Stretch marks can appear on your chest, buttocks, arms and thighs so that you soon feel like those red, pink, purple or silver lines are practically everywhere.
{source: WebMD}

* If you have a genetic predisposition for stretch marks or you have light skin, the odds are stacked against you. In fact, up to 90 percent of women get stretch marks before they give birth.
{source: Tunzi}

* The best way to minimize stretch marks is to pay close attention to your weight, diet and skin. Eat healthy food and avoid gaining weight quickly because this can stretch the skin.

* You should also drink lots of water and take supplements that contain vitamin C, vitamin E and zinc because this will help your skin stay supple and stretch easily. Some doctors also recommend gently massaging areas prone to stretch marks with cocoa butter or shea butter. 
{source: Robertson}

* There are also many lotions, oils and creams on the market that claim to prevent stretch marks, but most doctors believe that stretch marks are hereditary and topical treatments won't prevent them.
{source: WebMD}

* A large study found that over half of women with stretch marks had mothers with stretch marks, so there is a hereditary link. The strongest association, however, was made between pregnancy stretch marks and the presence of existing stretch marks on the body (for example on the breasts and thighs). Among women with pregnancy stretch marks, 81% had pre-existing stretch marks in these areas.

After many horrible nightmares of my stretch mark filled belly and buns frolicking in my teeny weeny bikini on the beaches of Hawaii - I decided, that I am darned if I do, and darned if I don't. Whether I had it coming already thanks to my Mother and Nana or not, I thought I would cover but Butt {Belly, Thighs and Boobs}, off to Shoppers I went to purchase my Bio-Oil.... If these babies were going to stretch there red, purple and silver marks all over me, they were not going to have an easy time at doing it!


Please stay tuned for my review on Bio-Oil and see if it gets a "Mommy Award"
 
 
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